the_last_podcast_on_the_leftfandomcom-20200215-history
Episode 10: Live at the Cave Comedy Radio Launch Party!/Transcript
00:00 ::yeah devastating for young boy no look 00:03 ::like the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was 00:05 ::seven and then I got back hair yeah 00:08 ::that's good oh my god this gets me home 00:25 ::so much faster at night when I've 00:26 ::listened to that song on my ipod because 00:27 ::I just run from the shadows to light 00:29 ::what the you ki is the creepiest the 00:31 ::gucci is podcast 00:33 ::this is Bugan vodka the last podcast on 00:36 ::the left is Marcus Parks I'm Ben Kissel 00:37 ::with co-host is always sir Henry 00:40 ::Zebrowski and today there he is I'll 00:44 ::tell you I just did the best luck with 00:46 ::working with big breasted co-hosts 00:48 ::Sansa's right you are amazing my friend 00:51 ::who who's more alluring to sit next to 00:53 ::though you are because I feel like I 00:55 ::could actually have sex with you enjoy 00:57 ::right you don't have a chance with Sara 00:59 ::a beard I'm point though you and I 01:01 ::that's the thing I have a dress that I 01:03 ::don't want that I can only have sex with 01:05 ::boys speaking of having sex with boys 01:07 ::today we're talking about the very 01:09 ::lovely the very curvaceous big-busted 01:11 ::divine looking John Wayne Gacy yeah now 01:15 ::the thing about John Wayne Gacy's he's a 01:16 ::junior like me exactly his father saying 01:20 ::about Wayne Gacy jr. his father used to 01:22 ::call him assist II used to call him dumb 01:24 ::used to call him stupid that's what he 01:25 ::did everything that he did 01:26 ::and he proved his father completely kind 01:28 ::of right but also wrong yeah which is 01:31 ::nice I'll tell you what a difference one 01:32 ::name makes John Wayne Oh sounds like an 01:35 ::American who's an actor I like that guy 01:37 ::yeah the westerns and the guns John 01:39 ::Wayne Gacy oh it's kind of American hero 01:42 ::I like that guy with the torture in the 01:43 ::kid absolutely it's 22 kids mmm he 01:46 ::killed 22 kids and I say if you've ever 01:49 ::been in a New York City Subway I want to 01:51 ::thank you John Wayne Gacy yes I'm 01:53 ::wishing off York City my friend clean up 01:56 ::some of these kids I might John Wayne 01:59 ::Casey's my my favorite serial killer if 02:02 ::you're gonna choose one right well I 02:04 ::think I feel like you're using that for 02:05 ::selfish reasons because he's the only 02:06 ::one that you could play on television 02:08 ::absolutely 02:09 ::I am if there was a biopic I will win an 02:12 ::Oscar playing John Dacey's ha kids ha 02:16 ::come closer Oh mom can I have some candy 02:19 ::yeah you can 02:20 ::hey fantastic I didn't die I didn't 02:24 ::expect a torture rack but this ain't bad 02:25 ::well I made the torture rack so I hope 02:27 ::you appreciate it this torture rack took 02:29 ::me three hours I watch it on this old 02:30 ::house show some respect 02:33 ::he had a torture rack so it fucked up I 02:35 ::mean he's John Wayne Gacy everything 02:37 ::that he did is fucked up but at the very 02:39 ::least it's organized it's nice it's in 02:40 ::his basement it's like you know when you 02:43 ::go to John Wayne Casey's house you have 02:44 ::a place to sleep 02:45 ::absolutely under his house under his 02:48 ::house for the eternal rest but he got 02:51 ::the children by being one of the 02:52 ::funniest kookiest clowns around ho ho 02:55 ::the clown yeah what a fun clown he was 02:58 ::if there is just a way to ruin clowns 03:00 ::harder it's dress up as a clown and kill 03:03 22 boys well that's the thing that was 03:05 ::the beginning of the end I think I I 03:07 ::will say this though John Wayne Gacy is 03:09 ::only the second worst clown of all time 03:11 ::the first worst clown is an Uncle Buck 03:14 ::with the name of the asshole deal No 03:18 ::Deal Howie Mandel yeah Howie Mandel you 03:20 ::were a worse clown I did like your mouth 03:22 ::mobile uh then John Wayne Gacy I'd bet 03:24 ::you $5 at Howie Mandel's at least killed 03:26 ::one girl oh of course he's killed a girl 03:28 ::right he's a millionaire it's called 03:31 ::dating Hannigan Deal or No Deal you know 03:33 ::when one doesn't show up she's in Howie 03:35 ::Mandel's a fucking torture president on 03:37 ::a torture rack I'll tell you one thing 03:39 ::any girl that dated that's not all right 03:42 ::I don't want to talk too much about the 03:43 ::very very talented Howie Mandel because 03:45 ::if he's listening to this but how he 03:47 ::does will of a god send us some money 03:49 ::just retire and give us shit not kill 03:52 ::any girls you suck and if you did kill a 03:54 ::woman I hope it was one laughing at you 03:56 ::because funny that's right you made a 03:59 ::career doing magic tricks that were 04:01 ::terrible speaking of magic tricks that's 04:03 ::what John Wayne Gacy did as a clown and 04:05 ::I want to say John Wayne Gacy taking a 04:07 ::clown to this universe of horror it's 04:09 ::similar to like if you would see a movie 04:11 ::about an uncle and that uncle was just 04:13 ::super nice and never touched a chai a 04:17 ::biscuit Li out of character for an uncle 04:19 ::I'm an uncle and sometimes I get afraid 04:22 ::that I'm just gonna 04:23 ::one of those molesty ones just because 04:25 ::I'm one because I'm an uncle that's the 04:27 ::thing I mean you've got to do it and 04:29 ::it's not like they're growing into 04:31 ::babies no they are growing into women 04:33 ::uncle's like to ruin kids 04:36 ::why wouldn't they they obviously don't 04:37 ::have any of their own and they hate 04:39 ::their brother or sister absolutely he's 04:41 ::just trying to create chaos so did John 04:43 ::Wayne okay John Wayne Gacy so he ran a 04:45 ::construction company the thing about 04:47 ::John Wayne Gacy is that he was arrested 04:49 ::before yes he had he had a construction 04:52 ::company he was a young man he was like 04:53 20 to 23 in his first marriage yes a 04:55 ::very hard worker model prisoner as well 04:58 ::he was uh was he really was he got 05:01 ::arrested on the charge of raping two 05:04 ::young boys when they served they gave 05:06 ::him a 10-year sentence he then it was a 05:08 ::model prisoner that shows what an 05:09 ::amazing criminal he was where it's like 05:12 ::well he was a I mean it's hard to in 05:14 ::Chicago by the way so we all started 05:16 ::this so we got ten years in prison and 05:18 ::he only ended up serving eighteen two 05:20 ::months they had him they had him in a 05:22 ::fucking concrete square where you belong 05:24 ::but the he was such a good prisoner and 05:27 ::he became the ECAM an advocate for 05:29 ::prisoners rights and got them all arrays 05:31 ::at their jobs they're inside prison jobs 05:33 ::there's um he was a born politician he 05:36 ::was a charged in his uh was it sort of 05:38 ::like a Veterans Association the JC's I 05:40 ::mean that's the thing and if he was 05:41 ::around nowadays this this political 05:43 ::scandal pales in comparison to the ones 05:45 ::that are happening in our world right 05:46 ::now yeah because the JC's back in the 05:48 ::money before he was first arrested they 05:50 ::had like this sex club him and all these 05:52 ::old white men used to get together and 05:54 ::they used to create porns and swap wives 05:56 ::and do all this stuff yeah the crazy 05:58 ::drug stuff and rape boys together is how 06:01 ::they learned how to do that or practice 06:02 ::and then he went to jail and he became a 06:04 ::model prisoner and then got out and then 06:06 ::you know I would imagine in jail he's 06:08 ::surrounded by grown men where is the 06:10 ::temptation there none you know he was 06:12 ::just like I I don't even know how to be 06:14 ::bad here absolutely I mean when you're a 06:16 ::young boy and if you're fat you have 06:18 ::breasts and you don't have any pubic 06:20 ::hair or a chest that's much like you 06:22 ::were born a woman that is my life and 06:24 ::that's why I understand where he's 06:25 ::coming from and I think that's why he's 06:26 ::our favorite because we both were very 06:28 ::fat yeah large bosoms no pubic hair to 06:31 ::show for it's not at all for a while 06:33 ::devastating yeah 06:34 ::devastating for young boy no look like 06:37 ::the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was seven 06:39 ::and then I got back hair yeah that's 06:42 ::good that is true what is that dough 06:48 ::that is for sir hey mom where'd you get 06:54 ::the dough for this friend Henry he's so 06:58 ::nice he's a great buddy 07:00 ::so yes so he ran a construction company 07:02 ::and this is where he started to run in 07:04 ::to young boys all around as a matter of 07:06 ::fact in today's economy 07:07 ::he might be wanted because he hired a 07:10 ::whole series of fifteen-year-old 07:11 ::sixteen-year-old boys to help him with 07:13 ::construction making jobs yeah absolutely 07:16 ::wrote the economy high turnover rates 07:18 ::yeah you know yeah Austin Lee because 07:20 ::half of them ended up at a crawlspace in 07:22 ::his basement the thing was it's oh yeah 07:24 ::so he got out of jail after serving 18 07:26 ::months he glib he lived with his mother 07:28 ::who loved him so much 07:30 ::she was a sweet but I bet there was a 07:32 ::little bit alike I love you your daddy 07:34 ::let's be daddy for tonight because I'm 07:36 ::he was pretty Buse pretty fucked up yeah 07:38 ::I'm sure 07:39 ::so Ethan made a new life for himself and 07:40 ::met a new wife what she must have been a 07:43 ::lover she must've been really fun to be 07:45 ::with well uh yes yeah then of course he 07:47 ::confessed to being gay with this gal 07:48 ::right yeah and they didn't have sex 07:50 ::anymore so then he could just start 07:51 ::having sex which I'm gonna say and I'm 07:53 ::gonna speak for every woman in the world 07:55 ::dream come true yeah every single woman 07:58 ::just wishes their husband was a closeted 08:00 ::gay so they could just agree not to 08:01 ::touch each other 08:02 ::Exeter with marriage does yeah I am so 08:06 ::sick of just can I may I please please 08:08 ::please please please and that's just to 08:13 ::get the remote other thing and then she 08:15 ::she then have finally divorced him and 08:18 ::so he had the house to himself and it 08:20 ::was like the whole house I imagine he 08:21 ::had a moment that risky business moment 08:22 ::where is a dark mansion 08:24 ::tanana and like it was having a good 08:26 ::time yeah I myself and then he went on a 08:28 ::massive killing spree just had the time 08:30 ::of his life 08:30 ::really the peak of his career if we're 08:32 ::talking Jordan we're talking 93 to 96 my 08:35 ::friend did not have to rely on the 08:36 ::fadeaway 70 us dunks yeah 08:39 ::dunks missing a free-throw dunk you 08:41 ::tried to get away I still got your ass 08:43 ::absolutely because I'm bigger than you 08:44 ::and you fat and I somehow con you into 08:47 ::coming over 08:48 ::my house and getting you drunk because 08:49 ::you're working for me my construction 08:50 ::firm we just took there was a thing and 08:53 ::he would have his construction firm so 08:54 ::he started the construction firm and he 08:55 ::would have the kids who were working for 08:58 ::him dig trenches for him underneath his 09:00 ::own house you're essentially digging 09:02 ::their own grave yeah yeah and then like 09:04 ::they retrofitted his whole house to be a 09:06 ::fucking mausoleum and so when they 09:08 ::caught on to him I didn't feel like this 09:10 ::is close to being the tall man from 09:12 ::phantasm a little bit just had a silver 09:15 ::ball that drained people's brain blood 09:17 ::but he's just be about it he's so much 09:19 ::scarier because he's so much more real 09:21 ::and it can happen again it's probably 09:22 ::happening right now oh my god there was 09:24 ::a child right now having the time of his 09:27 ::life you never know what they're into 09:28 ::these days that's right you got Twitter 09:30 ::and all this stuff kids are getting tied 09:32 ::to torture racks all the time so we said 09:34 ::finally very controversial thing about 09:36 ::Gacy Williams in prison he painted a 09:37 ::whole series of fantastic pictures about 09:39 ::Pogo the clown and Henry you are four 09:41 ::and I am against I don't think that 09:43 ::people should necessarily buy the 09:45 ::pictures because a killer made them 09:47 ::although I knew I do understand all 09:48 ::artists are crazy but van Gogh never 09:51 ::painted a picture of that ear that he 09:52 ::suffered I I would really like to own 09:55 ::one they are creepy as fuck they have 09:57 ::this one painting that I really wanted 09:59 ::to buy is on eBay and it's a painting 10:01 ::John Wayne Gacy pin into the clown 10:02 ::looking into a mirror and in the mirror 10:05 ::is this skull face yeah 10:07 ::looking back at him which is really 10:08 ::interesting but it's like I it's just 10:10 ::hard to say yourself every time I mean 10:13 ::absolutely look at me I um I think I'm 10:16 ::having a thin day oh this is nice look 10:19 ::at that 10:19 ::i Henry how are you that's my skull 10:22 ::voice all right III are you doing fine - 10:25 ::a burns when I cut my throat 10:27 ::but the the money would go to sort of 10:30 ::victims associations which is a big like 10:32 ::fucked up thing I was also reading about 10:33 ::how people used to bias paintings and 10:35 ::have group burnings of them they are the 10:37 ::victims of the various victims families 10:39 ::would get together buy off his paintings 10:41 ::the money would go to their charities 10:43 ::for the various moves that the fans in 10:45 ::Cleveland overreacted just a little bit 10:48 ::when they burn all of LeBron James 10:51 ::that doesn't quite equate to killing 33 10:54 ::wait to go to is 35 million dollar Miami 10:57 ::fucking mansion I can't wait oh my god 10:59 ::great if serial killers could join a 11:01 ::league in Gacy was just like I'm gonna 11:02 ::take my talents to South South Beach 11:05 ::yeah the whole show all right well we 11:07 ::got to wrap up this 10 minute episode of 11:09 ::last podcast on the left we'll talk guys 11:11 ::Thank You Margot forward to it thank you 11:16 ::Music